So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
