I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
