I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
