People with herpes should wear stickers.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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