I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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