Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
