fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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