Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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