Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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