I wanna passion pit in your ass
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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