you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize