That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
