420 ftw
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
