I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
