also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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