This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
