Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize