Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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