just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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