I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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