I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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