ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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