My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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