i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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