p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
