If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize