We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
