what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
