What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
