If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
