I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
