sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think I sprained my soul last night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
we should paint friendship bongs
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