I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize