the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
