the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
