Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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