I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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