Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Randomize
