dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
