he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
