The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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