I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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