At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
