Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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