thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
