Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
