I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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