I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my shit smells like andre
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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