he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
