its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
