went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
