Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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