Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
