I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
