You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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