You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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