Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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