There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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