Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize