i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
