all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish life had little blips of pornography
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
