We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
