Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
