my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He has the fingertips of a God
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
