I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
