Sponge bath it is.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
